Saturday, April 18, 2009

Have you ever... (Poll)

Please note that there's a new poll in the margin.

There has been a little discussion in the comment fields on how all the interesting opportunities arise in my life. My idea is that if you make an effort for opportunities to arise, they will...

If you have comments on the blog, feel free to add them in the comment field of this post.


Kelly 'Sunbuns' said...

Jo Kristian, Thanks for the poll and the stimulating discussion. Your posts always get my hormones boiling especially when I imagine the parts that you cleverly (or coyly?) leave out of your descriptions of sexual adventuring.
My slant on 'making and taking one's opportunities' is too long to enunciate here. Gist: It's not so much a matter of what defines the sexual / erotic/ suggestive behavior, but what result(s) the behavior produces.
Let me briefly explain (exchanging comments only works for short conversations - I think).
For example, I often go out to walk my dogs (in turns since there are 3 of them) early in the morning (and sometimes at other times of day) with my zipper all the way down. With a untucked in shirt, it's not clearly visible UNLESS someone is actually glimpsing at it or trying to peer in order to get a look at my pubes or cock. You have commented on that before - you can TELL who's interested by following the paths their eyes take as they approach.
The 'result' in your case might be a potential encounter in the bushes of the park. But for others of us, that's far less likely (in suburban Tokyo or London) so it just appears - in effect - to be an (older man's) exhibitionistic fetish behaviour. Neither of these is a problem but the actual result and also the way such behaviour is perceived by the person doing it, by the interested viewer, and the uninterested passer-by (even angry or disgusted), or even by hearsay in society can be enormously different and therefore have a great effect on the person doing it. There is probably less effect on the guys who notice and just try to forget about it.
Youth certainly has its charms and it often affords one the license to be free of guilt or very uninhibited since youth can choose to act on it - both in having desire or in the lack of it and any action. What seems critical to me is the psychological game (a type of sexual ecology) that's going on in these situations. Thomas Mann's A Death in Venice is a classic portrait of the two sides of the romantic (and hardly even physical) chase between the young and the older male. I wonder what Tadzio was thinking when he noticed the older man watching him. It's probably a bit like that for you .. after all, you only in your early 20s. Think for a moment ( briefly - if you will) of what things will be like when you are nearly 50 or even 70 years of age.
As always.. thanks for writing (and reading)....
Kelly (sunbuns99 / sunbunz)

Jo Kristian said...

Of course, I'm not sure I can think of things will be when I'm 50 or 70. I do see that I can act differently than I probably can in even just a few years time, just because I am perceived differently.

On the other hand, I'd like to think that age is not always that important. If I see a guy walking his dog with an open fly, I will get turned on - no matter his age.

And I think I know what Tadzio must feel. For instance, I've had the experience several times when I'm at a nude beach - that a guy lots older than me is watching (or staring). Such a stare always makes me start going hard, so I have to start thinking about something else (at least if there are other people nearby).

It's interesting what you write about the psychology of it all. The situations I've chosen to write about in my blog so far are mostly those where I end up "going all the way" with someone. For each of these, there are at least ten situations where someone watches me and there is a sexual tension, but nothing more happens. And another thirty where noone even notices. Maybe I should start writing short notices on the ten others as well as just the sex?