Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ask me anything answers 4

Tremendi asks "How did you get into exhibitionism and discovering that you were turned on more by knowing that people were watching you?"

That's a good question. I really can't pinpoint it. Of course, I remember that nudity fascinated me from a very early age. I guess that the idea that one should be very careful not to be seen by anyone naked (except in particular circumstances, such as in the locker room at school) made me interested. In particular, I remember standing by my bedroom window in the nude, feeling the summer evening air while thinking that someone might be watching.

As I've written elsewhere: I mostly prefer to be seen naked in "innocent" circumstances. Being naked in my own room is such a circumstance, even though I hesitated a bit longer than necessary after opening the window before going to bed. Likewise, most of my public nudity for my first years of exhibition was in similar situations - at nude beaches, at other beaches, out in the woods, in youth hostels etc.

Of course, these are all different. Being naked in your bedroom window is quite "innocent", but if you're sporting a hard-on in that situation, it's another matter. In the locker room, on the other hand, I remember that I used to get semi-hard. I enjoyed the attention the other guys gave me, even though they laughed and made fun of me. They said that I couldn't control my dick, but they didn't know that I controlled it perfectly exactly for that purpose. And I enjoyed it immensely when I saw that other guys got a hard-on because they had been looking at mine...

And youth hostels are different still. In youth hostels (or other dorm-like situations), I always sleep in the nude, and make sure that the cover only covers me for the first 30 minutes or so. However, you never really know how people might react when they see a naked guy in a bed - I remember the first time someone touched me in that situation; it was a pleasant shock.

Anyway, the answer to your question must be the bedroom window. I didn't really get turned on by people actually watching me - I've always been almost as much turned on by knowing that people might be watching me. So even just going for a nude swim in the middle of the forest may turn me on, even though I know there are probably noone else around. As long as there might be...

Monday, February 23, 2009

Feel free to copy...

A guy sent me a message asking if it would be okay to post one of my stories on his blog. I answered "yes, of course" - but then realized that I should be clearer about it here as well:

If anyone wants to use parts of or whole stories from this blog somewhere else, feel free to do so. The only thing I ask is that I'm mentioned and that there is a link back to the story in my blog. (And if you send me an email or write a comment about it as well, I'll even know about it.)

In this age of quickly emerging technologies and swift deletions, the only sure way of survival is to be copied...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The couple with a special interest

I've written before that I rarely meet people based on emails or chats online - I prefer things to happen more "spontaneously". One exception was an email that I got one Thursday in August last year, which read something like this (although in Norwegian):
"Dear James,
my husband and I have read your blog and are intrigued by its contents. We own a cabin and a secluded beach in the Oslo fjord, and have for a long time had a fantasy of having some naked people around us when we are enjoying the sun. Now we are trying to invite some people to fulfil our fantasy. Would you be interested in coming to our place this Saturday if the weather permits?
We will have a boat pick you up.
Yours sincerely,"
and so on.

I'm not sure what I felt when I got this email. One part of me had worried that starting this blog would impact on my life in ways I didn't want - and if I could, I would have made it invisible to people from Norway. I didn't like people around here to read my stories. On the other hand, I couldn't resist this offer, of course. I didn't know exactly what it would mean, but I knew it would involve sun and nudity and other people. So I answered yes. I got an email with more detailed instructions: they wanted me (and the other guys) to be naked and swim or whatever we wanted in the area around the cabin. We would get food and drinks if we wanted. The simple point was to provide some "atmosphere" for the couple.

The weather was very nice on that Saturday, so in the afternoon I got down to the fjord and was taken by a boat to the island. I understood the meaning of the word secluded now - the beach could not be seen from other parts of the island, but was clearly visible from quite a distance on the fjord. Well, I didn't mind. I got off the boat and saw that three other guys had already arrived - they were lying around, naked. I decided on a spot not to far from the others, and undressed.

The cabin was more like a house than a typical cabin, and it was not far from the beach. The couple was not to be seen. On my left was a Caribbean-looking guy, maybe my age and height, slim and with a good-looking cock. On my other side, maybe only ten meters away was a Norwegian-looking guy. He may have been 30 years old, muscular. He was on his stomach so far, so I couldn't really see his dick. Nice ass, though. And further to my left were another guy who could easily be Norwegian, with light blond hair. He can't have been more than 19 years old, a bit skinny, but with a sexy tan but no tan line.

As I arrived, all of the others looked at me, of course. I nodded politely, but then lay down and started to consider the situation. We were four good-looking guys (if I may be so immodest), we were all naked and we could all me seen by at least ten boats in the fjord at this very moment. So of course I enjoyed the situation very much already. And then, the couple came out.

The couple put up their chairs on the opposite part of the beach from us, setting up their beach chairs facing us. They were a beautiful couple in their early thirties. The guy was wearing a tiny swimsuit while she was wearing a nice bikini. They sat down, started to talk and drink beer, while they were watching us.

Being naked with others is great, but being naked where there are also people who are not naked is even better. This may be because their clothes underline my nudity. In any case, my cock reacted almost immediately, getting half-erect within seconds. Almost on instinct, I watched around me to see if anyone noticed (and maybe even considered turning around to avoid embarrasment), but I soon realised that I was not alone in this reaction. The beautiful guy who I've guessed may be from the Caribbean was already fully erect, while the two other Norwegians were also approaching that status. So instead of covering up in any way, I just relaxed, closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of my swelling cock catching some sun. I knew three beautiful guys with hard-ons were watching, I knew the couple were watching and I knew that we were also visible from afar. Perfect.

We were all just resting and going for a swim once in a while - enjoying the beautiful day. I'm quite patient when I'm on a beach - I can rest for a long time before getting restless. After an hour and a half on this beach, however, I got very impatient, wanting to know what would happen next. However, at about this point, a guy came out from the cabin with a case of beer, which he distributed to us. Then he went back in. I had a beer. I had another beer. By the time I started on my third beer, I noticed that the young Norwegian was looking at me intently. I decided it couldn't hurt to get over to him to have a chat. I sat down next to him, and he said - apparently losing any inhibitions he might have had by a combination of the sun and the beer on an empty stomach - that he'd like to suck me. I answered - not because of the beer but simply because I wanted to - that he could.

This really got things going. As the young guy started working my dick, the Caribbean moved closer to us, evidently wanting to take part. The older Norwegian sat down next to him, and they started to kiss. I glanced at the couple sitting in their chairs - they were watching us even more intensely than before, and the guy's swimwear was having trouble keeping its contents inside.

Sad to say, the tongue-work of the young guy was not very impressive, so I made us switch parts, so that I was sucking him instead. His dick was thin but quite long, and I got the sense that he was constantly very close to coming. So I had to do my job very carefully, licking him only for seconds at a time. After three or four minutes of this, the Caribbean came over and rearranged our bodies so that I could still suck the young one while the Caribbean sucked me. However, I was also eyeing the other Norwegian, whose cock seemed very tempting. Therefore, I decided to finish the "suffering" of my current victim - I shifted gear and used all my tricks at once. Within a minute he was coming - I withdrew a few seconds before that and saw his sperm covering his stomach.

Now it was time for the other Norwegian. I signalled for him to come over, as the young one headed for the water to get his sperm washed off. This was a cock of another caliber, and moreover, he seemed very anxious to thrust deep into my mouth (while the blond one had been more passively enjoying). I had to concentrate on taking as much of his cock as possible, but that was hard, because I could now see - in the corner of my eye - that the couple had gotten out of their chairs and started fucking opposite us. They were still looking in our direction much of the time. I felt the big dick thrusting into my throat, felt a beautiful guy still sucking my dick, saw the couple having sex and saw the blond guy get back out of the water, and the combination made me lose control and come, without warning, into the mouth of the gorgeous guy.

For some reason, after coming I felt like cleaning up, so I went down to the water just like the blond guy had done. I dived into the sea, swam a few strokes, and as I was swimming back in I saw the wonderful scene. The big Norwegian and the Caribbean was now jerking each other off, facing each other, while the straight couple had turned to doggy style on top of their blankets. I couldn't help just sitting down on the shore, watching shamelessly. The Caribbean came first, a big burst of sperm hitting the Norwegian's perfect six-pack. Then it was only half a minute before he came, hitting back. And when I had finished watching them, I noticed that the straight couple were now having an after-sex rest on their towels.

Slowly, everything came back to something resembling "normal". The couple's servant (I guess) came out of the cabin and started lighting the grill, and within minutes the couple were back in their clothes. The guys stayed naked, but not fully erect anymore, and we went swimming and having fun in the water for a while.

It had been an amazing evening, and all because this couple felt it was a bit too lonely to spend their weekends alone on this beautiful beach. In the discussion during dinner they told us that they had found the three other guys via their profiles on gaysir, while I had been found due to my blog.

While I did go to nude beaches lots of times last summer, of course this one Saturday evening was special. I hope I'll get more days like that.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ask me anything answers 3

Another question after asking you to Ask me anything:

Kelly asks:
What is your relationship with James?
You written about it a few times.. but I'm intrigued. Do you even want to define it (or limit it definition by trying to answer). I know I adore James without ever having met him.. so I can't imagine what you think of him.
A year ago in January, he had decided to stop his own blogs, and devote more time to his boyfriend, the 'former' one with whom he seems to have broken up with ... I think. Then suddenly, he's getting posts about him in your blog, and you two are an item. Oh so it seems... so what's happening there?

Let me first say that I asked James if it was okay to answer this question in my blog. That's why I let it wait for a while. James was cool with it.

James' relationship status on Facebook (before he was deleted) was "It's complicated", if I remember correctly. This was very true. James is playful and exhibitionistic, while his boyfriend is neither. Nonetheless, they love each other very much. Once they tried to sort things out by setting out "rules", but this only underlined everything that was problematic, as I understand it. Now, they have a very different agreement, which James describes more or less like this: They are each other's top priority. This means that James will be with his boyfriend whenever the boyfriend wants to be with him (and the other way round). However, whenever they are apart, they are allowed to do whatever they want.

To me, this is beautiful - it shows both devotion and respect. Devotion, because they acknowledge that the other one is the most important person in their lives. Respect, because they see that both have their own personalities and should have an opportunity to explore different aspects of themselves. It's not obvious that all aspects of your lives should be explored with the same person.

Where does this leave me? Exactly where I want to be. I'm not after a romantic commitment at the moment. I'm happy with great friends and lots of sex in different circumstances and with different people. At the moment, I don't see how this could be combined with having a boyfriend. (Personally, I wouldn't want to go through all the discussions and quarrels that James and his boyfriend have gone through to get to the point where they are today.)

I meet James maybe once a week on average, to try to find new opportunities for exhibitionism. We go to the gym together, to a beach, or maybe just meet at my place, get naked, get seen... We have nice, uncomplicated sex, and that is exactly what we want from each other...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Ask me anything answers 2

Another question after asking you to Ask me anything:

Petter asked "You seem to have both safe sex and - once in a while - unsafe sex. Have you ever felt scared when having unsafe sex?"

Answer: I very rarely have really unsafe sex. I almost always use condoms when having anal sex, while I do oral sex without condoms (as long as I don't have any injuries in my mouth or anything like that). I know I've written about times where I broke this rule and I'm not proud of that.

But the only time I can think of when I've been really scared was once in Amsterdam. I was 18 and was in Amsterdam for the first time, and visited some kind of sauna or club or something. A guy I met (in a sex shop!) took me there, we undressed and he started discussing putting me in a sex sling. I was interested (to put it mildly), but I insisted he use condoms. The sling was in a separate room (but with small windows for voyeurs to look in), and this guy led me into it. He locked the door and soon I was hanging in the sling naked, with a wild erection. My "friend" was looking great, with a swimmer's body and a straight and erect cock. He put on his condom, but before starting to enter me, he went over to the door and unlocked it.

At this point, I was scared. I was defenceless, and I saw faces outside the little "windows" lighting up, as they would be allowed to come in. I feared being fucked for hours by lots of men without condoms. However, there was little I could do - my hands were tied, as the saying goes...

But at first, everything was fine. The sexy guy went back to me and started to fuck me. The room started to fill up with naked guys, all of them watching us intently and getting horny. I just loved the attention and the pounding of the cock and my complete passivity. He kept fucking and fucking, but as he was about to come, he pulled out and instead shot his load all over my stomach and chest.

This was the moment I feared. One of the other guys in the room was already stepping forward, eager to fuck me. He was huge - probably a bodybuilder for years. He had veins on the top of his skin. I looked at him pleadingly and said "please, use a condom", but I guess he liked my role as a slave anyway, so this didn't help. However, this was when my "friend" said the all-important words: "Nobody will fuck him without a condom."

For some reason, these words did the trick. As they were said by the "master", not by the "slave", they were accepted. The bodybuilder went over to the box of condoms hanging on the wall and put one on. Then he walked over to me and started to fuck me.

It's hard to describe my feelings for the next hour. I had been so worried about the lack of condoms that I hadn't really given much thought to whether I wanted ten guys to fuck me. However, I soon realized that I enjoyed that a whole lot. Actually, being watched while having sex turns me on a lot, but being watched by a series of men who would soon also be fucking me, turned me on even more. So I was hanging in the sex sling for more than one hour, with a constant erection and with a smile on my face.

It did hurt, of course. My ass started hurting about halfway through, and the leather holding my arms and legs in place was starting to saw into my skin - at least it felt like that. But when the last guy was done, of course there was one more thing to be done. The "swimmer" was still in the room, and he came over to me and started jerking me off - very, very slowly and carefully. I guess I would have come within seconds if he had done it at a normal speed, but in this way, he could keep jerking me for minutes while the guys around me, who had just fucked me, were still watching.

Writing this down now, it all seems insane. I was terribly young, eager to see some of the fun I knew Amsterdam could offer, and I met a guy who probably was making a habit of picking up "innocent" tourists in the sex shop. I'm just awfully, awfully thankful that he did what he did to protect me from infections...

After coming, I was helped out of the sling, had a long, long shower and then dressed and walked back to my hotel. I did go out to a gay bar the next afternoon, and even ran into one of the guys who had been fucking me the day before, but my sex drive needed another day to get back in order.

So the answer is: no, I'm not scared anymore. I've learned to set the boundaries exactly where I'm comfortable with them. Especially, I'm trying to let only people I trust tie me down...

Ask me anything answers 1

I've already gotten questions after asking you to Ask me anything:

Renton asks "have you spent much time in bathhouses? I've been to a couple but I always wish there were more people my age. The ones I've been to seem to attract an older crowd."

Answer: My experience is pretty much the same as yours. That doesn't bother me, though. Older people are fine... :-)

There are many ways to find people to have sex with, and I'm using most of them:
Going to the gym and try to find interested guys in the shower is exciting and sometimes gives great results - but more often, it leads to nothing. Making an agreement to meet someone I've met on the net is very frustrating - I rarely do that, because it feels so stupid when people don't turn up. Going to gay bars is expensive, but has the benefit of almost always leading to sex, although often with people who are drunk... Webcam sex may also be great, but of course is not perfect.

Going to bathhouses (gay saunas) is, in many ways, better than many other options. You know there will always be horny guys there. It's true that the average age is a bit high, but on the other hand, that gives you plenty of attention. For an exhibitionist like me, saunas give many opportunities.

On the other hand, I prefer sex to happen suddenly and randomly, and therefore, I also try to look for sex in other places...

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Ask me anything

Sorry for not updating much lately. It's been a busy time, lots of travels etc. Lots of experiences as well, but too little time to blog about them...

While I try to get around to blog, I have a suggestions: why don't you ask me questions? Ask me anything, and I'll ask truthfully - and as entertaining as I can...

(By the way, Facebook has deleted my account - I don't know why. I'll consider getting a social networking account somewhere else soon...)