Sunday, February 8, 2009

Ask me anything answers 2

Another question after asking you to Ask me anything:

Petter asked "You seem to have both safe sex and - once in a while - unsafe sex. Have you ever felt scared when having unsafe sex?"

Answer: I very rarely have really unsafe sex. I almost always use condoms when having anal sex, while I do oral sex without condoms (as long as I don't have any injuries in my mouth or anything like that). I know I've written about times where I broke this rule and I'm not proud of that.

But the only time I can think of when I've been really scared was once in Amsterdam. I was 18 and was in Amsterdam for the first time, and visited some kind of sauna or club or something. A guy I met (in a sex shop!) took me there, we undressed and he started discussing putting me in a sex sling. I was interested (to put it mildly), but I insisted he use condoms. The sling was in a separate room (but with small windows for voyeurs to look in), and this guy led me into it. He locked the door and soon I was hanging in the sling naked, with a wild erection. My "friend" was looking great, with a swimmer's body and a straight and erect cock. He put on his condom, but before starting to enter me, he went over to the door and unlocked it.

At this point, I was scared. I was defenceless, and I saw faces outside the little "windows" lighting up, as they would be allowed to come in. I feared being fucked for hours by lots of men without condoms. However, there was little I could do - my hands were tied, as the saying goes...

But at first, everything was fine. The sexy guy went back to me and started to fuck me. The room started to fill up with naked guys, all of them watching us intently and getting horny. I just loved the attention and the pounding of the cock and my complete passivity. He kept fucking and fucking, but as he was about to come, he pulled out and instead shot his load all over my stomach and chest.

This was the moment I feared. One of the other guys in the room was already stepping forward, eager to fuck me. He was huge - probably a bodybuilder for years. He had veins on the top of his skin. I looked at him pleadingly and said "please, use a condom", but I guess he liked my role as a slave anyway, so this didn't help. However, this was when my "friend" said the all-important words: "Nobody will fuck him without a condom."

For some reason, these words did the trick. As they were said by the "master", not by the "slave", they were accepted. The bodybuilder went over to the box of condoms hanging on the wall and put one on. Then he walked over to me and started to fuck me.

It's hard to describe my feelings for the next hour. I had been so worried about the lack of condoms that I hadn't really given much thought to whether I wanted ten guys to fuck me. However, I soon realized that I enjoyed that a whole lot. Actually, being watched while having sex turns me on a lot, but being watched by a series of men who would soon also be fucking me, turned me on even more. So I was hanging in the sex sling for more than one hour, with a constant erection and with a smile on my face.

It did hurt, of course. My ass started hurting about halfway through, and the leather holding my arms and legs in place was starting to saw into my skin - at least it felt like that. But when the last guy was done, of course there was one more thing to be done. The "swimmer" was still in the room, and he came over to me and started jerking me off - very, very slowly and carefully. I guess I would have come within seconds if he had done it at a normal speed, but in this way, he could keep jerking me for minutes while the guys around me, who had just fucked me, were still watching.

Writing this down now, it all seems insane. I was terribly young, eager to see some of the fun I knew Amsterdam could offer, and I met a guy who probably was making a habit of picking up "innocent" tourists in the sex shop. I'm just awfully, awfully thankful that he did what he did to protect me from infections...

After coming, I was helped out of the sling, had a long, long shower and then dressed and walked back to my hotel. I did go out to a gay bar the next afternoon, and even ran into one of the guys who had been fucking me the day before, but my sex drive needed another day to get back in order.

So the answer is: no, I'm not scared anymore. I've learned to set the boundaries exactly where I'm comfortable with them. Especially, I'm trying to let only people I trust tie me down...

1 comment:

Kelly 'Sunbuns' said...

Jo..I always wonder if the basic dynamics, and often unnoticed nature, of our planetary existence sometimes have a great effect on each of our personal lives. What I mean is this: Are you affected by the phases of the moon? Of all the days you might have restarted writing blog entries (not since Dec 29), I find it amusing - and almost significant - that you choose to start again on a day that the moon is full.

Ok.that's a more like a comment.. not really a proper question.
So.. here it is. What I want to know is this:
What is your relationship with James?
You written about it a few times.. but I'm intrigued. Do you even want to define it (or limit it definition by trying to answer). I know I adore James without ever having met him.. so I can't imagine what you think of him.
A year ago in January, he had decided to stop his own blogs, and devote more time to his boyfriend, the 'former' one with whom he seems to have broken up with ... I think. Then suddenly, he's getting posts about him in your blog, and you two are an item. Oh so it seems... so what's happening there?